Motivation to Get Rid of Purses
Thanks for being part of today’s Throw It Out Thursday!
Today we are going through Katie’s (my daughter)
She told me she was going through her bags and
wanted to know if I wanted any of them. I said,
“No, but we can do a video!” so that is what we did.
This of course is not staged, it is real time, and what happened
is we see a process of getting rid of a bag that she really did
not want to get rid of. It needed repair, and if it was repaired,
fine. BUT she didn’t care for it well while it was not being used
and it was less than perfect now…
I love that this is a part of this video. There is another bag too
that was less difficult to get rid of, but the process of deciding
is all gone through, and she successfully let go of it 🙂
In my book “Finally Organized” I write about the 2 types
of OC and I give Katie and myself as an example.
I will include an excerpt on the page that appears when you
click on the video.
The reason I mention this is because Katie’s room is, um…
less than perfect. It is cluttered to many peoples’ standards, but
not to hers. She is eclectic and loves her space. You see that
It is kinda a long video, about 10 minutes, but I think it will
be great company for when you are going through your bags.
Well, I hope you enjoy it. And don’t forget!
Tidy Tutor University is starting Feb 15! There is still space!
And the coupon for early bird registration expires in just 3 days!
Please email me, and comment. I love to hear from you!
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The Tidy Tutor
From “Finally Organized”
Chapter Title “Free at Last!”
First, I want to make it clear that it is not always the case that the Organizationally Challenged (OC) cannot get their dreams off the ground, or that they are not able to go places they always wanted to go, or do the things that they always dreamed of doing. Nor is it always the case that the OC feels bad about themselves because of the lives they live behind their closed doors of chaos. I can tell you, though, most of the organizationally challenged are in crisis, and their lives are directly affected by their disorganized existences.
Simple things like getting a sympathy card out in the mail, making the phone call that desperately needs to be made, sending a graduation gift out, or writing a thank-you note, can be put off for only so long. Friendships have been broken, accounts have been levied, and jobs have been lost, due to chronic procrastination. Things that are easy to do, and would have taken minutes to perform, somehow become paralyzing for many of us. Procrastination should be a classified disease! Its effects can certainly be as devastating.
If it is the man who is OC and not the woman, it is often typical that she follows behind him, cleaning up, and smoothing things out. I believe it is a cultural thing. Even though women have, for decades now, been in the work place full-time, they still carry much of the responsibilities of home and family. I have helped many divorced men who were not aware of their issue with disorganization until a divorce had occurred. Once they moved out and started living alone, they found they were unable to keep a house.
There are those who are able to completely function outside in the world being who and doing what they intended, even while living in chaos. These people are usually artists, and highly motivated individuals, with fair to high self-esteem. This makes them able to counter the feelings of inadequacy regarding their inability to keep orderly lives. They are able to see past their disability, and live their lives, inside and outside of their homes just fine. Would they wish that home life could be more ordered? Do you think that they could do better in most or all of their endeavors if they could be more organized? My answer to that is, undoubtedly yes. But for these disorganized types, being organized doesn’t really matter to them all that much.
While I was listening to talk radio, an artist was speaking about how she was a mess at home. It was an issue worth noting, but she did not speak of it as if it were a severe detriment. She spoke of it just as if she were left-handed, as if it were a cute quirky personality trait. Sure, there were piles, she lost things, and was often late because she didn’t manage her time, or couldn’t find her keys, but she was functioning happily, and accepted herself as she was. Her darling husband accepted her and helped her at home. They lived life together in harmony. This is extremely rare, more times than not, disorder brings discord at home, and often the partner, who is frustrated by the mess, threatens to, or actually does, walk out and seek separation.
Compare two people who lack the ability to walk and are in wheelchairs. Both know that they could function better with working legs—that is a given—but one makes the best of what he has, and becomes what he has always dreamed of, and the other sees his disability as bigger than his ability, and lives far below what he dreams. Much of life is in perception.
Speaking with the organizationally challenged, I have gained some insight into what makes them different. Hindsight is 20/20, they say. And I say, whenever you can, grab some hindsight and jump ahead of the line. I will use two people as representatives of both types of OC, my daughter and myself.
Katie (my daughter), age 30: She is highly motivated and successful. She is confident and does not let her home life disaster stop her from doing and going. These types of people do not allow their dysfunction to define them. They are able to see their attributes bigger than their detriments. They are able to snub their noses at what other people think. They seem to march to a different drum. These are the quirky types that you see out there in the world. She can wear an outfit that no one else can wear (she has the imagination for such attire, no doubt, because all of the times she neglected laundry and had to be innovative). While she recognizes issues such as procrastination and sloppiness, she has a determination that pushes her through, and she accomplishes despite her disordered life at home. This is not to say that she does not long to be more organized , or that she wouldn’t benefit from this system—in fact she does. This just illustrates that all OCs are not created equally, nor are all messes seen by the same people the same way.
Kathy (me), age 50: I had aspirations and dreams, but I lacked confidence. This lack of confidence is what propelled me into bed with a pint of Haagen-Dazs when looking at the mess at home and urgent life issues. It was difficult for me to not allow my surroundings and what I have heard said of me, define me. It was, and sometimes still is, work for me to see my attributes bigger than my detriments. I needed to work hard at snubbing my nose at what other people thought. For the type of slob that I am, there is an absolute need to learn how to be orderly so that I can function on more than borderline survival. Self image was the main difference between OC #1 (Katie) and OC #2 (Me)
It became necessary for me to consciously think about the things that I thought about regarding myself and my life. When I did this I realized that there were many things that were negative. So, I wrote down the things I was thinking and made a list of other things that were contrary to them and said them over and over to myself while looking in the mirror. For example: “I will never be successful, I always have so many needs, I never get what I want,” became “I am successful, I have more than I need and want.” “Nothing good ever happens for me,” became “Good things happen for me, I can have them, I deserve them, I enjoy them, I receive them.” As time went by, and not too much time, mind you, I began to believe these things, and I became more like OC #1. I actually didn’t know that I was thinking so negatively about myself and my life, but when I took the time and asked the right questions, I saw the truth. We don’t have to stay where we are, there is always a choice. Taking action makes things change and I’m living proof of that.
Of course, there are varying degrees to each of these two examples. It does not mean that one doesn’t lack self-esteem in some things, or that the other does not have self-esteem in others. As I mentioned, all messes are not seen by the same people the same way. A mess to one person is nothing to me, and that same mess makes another cringe. This system will work for anyone, and help even the most organizationally gifted person if he wanted to improve. All of these observations are just that—observations that I have made in the twenty plus years that I have been helping people with their disordered lives.